Love is blind . . .

Tim Jackson —  February 7, 2012 — 11 Comments

My bride of 35 years recently brought home a sign that she wants to hang in our soon-to-be-remodeled bathroom. [The soon-to-be-remodeled part being . . . as soon as I can get to it. And we all know how that goes. :-)] Here’s the sign:

It makes me laugh. We do a lot of that around our house. But it’s more than funny. What hits me is the proverbial sounding wisdom that it whimsically communicates. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear that Solomon wrote it in the Proverbs. He didn’t. (I looked.) But he could have.

Why do we laugh? Because it’s only those of us who are married who have the insider information about how true those words are.

Think about it, those of you who are married. You know who you are. You laughed the loudest. Come on, be honest. Didn’t you? Why? It’s because when you were in that ooey-gooey, falling-in-love stage, there’s a lot you closed your eyes to with thoughts like: “Oh, we’ll work that out later.” We all did.

However, it’s after the post-honeymoon glow wears off and doing life together sets in that we begin to see each other more clearly—no tux, no wedding dress—just who we are in street clothes. Honestly, it feels vulnerable, over-our-heads naked with nowhere to hide. Excitement and terror all rolled into one.

That’s when, with eyes wide open, we catch our first glimpses of the exquisite design that God had in mind when He made one man for one woman (Gen. 2:18, 21-25). Though we live east of Eden, we are given the daily opportunity to make good on our wedding-day promises to “nourish and cherish” our spouse with all of our hearts until our last dying breath (Eph. 5:25-33).

Now for those of you who are in the falling in love stage of your relationship and you’re thinking, “I don’t get it.” Don’t worry. Give it time. You will.

Ooey-gooey love is great, for starters; but it won’t sustain you for the long haul kind of love that is required to go the distance. It’s the God-help-me-love-you-when-I-don’t-feel-like-it kind of love that is needed.

Love is blind–but, if we’re willing, God can and will use marriage to open our hearts to love our mates more deeply than we ever thought possible. Really. Get the picture?

Tim Jackson

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Tim Jackson is married to his college sweetheart, Cole. They have 3 adult children. Tim is the producer for the HelpForMyLife.org website, writes Discover Series booklets on a variety of counseling issues and hosts webinars for RBC Ministries. He's also the founder and president of Still Waters Counseling & Equipping Ministries, PC, a local counseling practice serving individuals, couples and families. When not in the office, you will probably find him up a tree with a bow, in a duck blind or fly fishing on one of Michigan's many rivers.

11 responses to Love is blind . . .

  1. Thanks for the message,sir i want to ask is that true that love is blind?because bible said God is love,i need more explanation.

  2. David, I was referring to our flawed human love. God’s love is never blind. He knows and sees all. Nothing surprises Him. The absolute wonder about God’s love for us is that He didn’t just hear about our sin. He witnesses it in person, knows us best and STILL loves us the most! Amazing love!

  3. Mr. Jackson,

    Thank you for such a lovely article.
    I totally get it :•)
    25yrs this June :•)

  4. Sherry, congrats on your 25-year anniversary this June. I hope you and your man have a special time celebrating your journey of love together with Him. Sweet!

  5. This is like the voice of an oracle. Thank you dear RBC

  6. Tim,
    I lost my husband of 33 years in Oct. Your article brought a smile as I remember our years together. Thank you for bringing that smile.
    In Christ,
    Sue

  7. Andrew Yakubu May 12, 2012 at 1:56 pm

    Hello Tim,
    I am a starter who is yet to discover the true meaning of love thou trusting God for a life partner in a couple of years to come. She broke my heart about three times now and still, she wants me for a relationship. I am afraid she might break me one more time which I may not be able to bear but then, I still have this strong feelings for her. Right now I present my case to God in prayer immediately I read your post but then, I am afraid and uncertain of what to do. What measures should I take as an act of faith? Faith without works is death. James 2:17

  8. Andrew, I’m saddened to hear of your struggles in the relationship with the young woman who has broken your heart 3 times. While I don’t know anything about the details of those situations, it certainly raises a red flag about any potential future in the relationship. There’s a consistent pattern of heartbreak for you that is not likely to change. Yes, it’s true that all relationships struggle. We all are pretty poor at loving at times. However, if a woman truly loves you, there would be a pattern of brokenness on her part over the pain that she’s caused you. The absence of that pattern indicates that there hasn’t been a true heart change on her part, making a deepening relationship that is moving toward the kind of sacrificial love necessary in a marriage impossible at this time. You would do well to back away from the relationship. Letting go of her will be painfully difficult because you’re emotionally invested. However, stepping into your fear with a faith that trusts in God’s good work in you will provide a level of reassurance that makes courage possible.

    Check out our booklets on fear and relationships.

  9. Dear Tim, thank you so much for the work you’re doing for RBC. I’ve been a member for years and haven’t turned back since :)

    I’ve been going through a situation for about three years now and have been thinking of the best way to handle it without compromising my Godly principles. I put this problem on this blog as I feel love is in deed blind…

    I had a phonecall from a guy by the name of Kwaku in June 2009, wanting to speak to one of his mates who was at the time, in hospital. I told him he’s phoned the wrong number and before he left, insisted on being my friend! Upon questioning that, he answered; you haven’t seen Jesus but you believe in Him, right? That topic led to us being friends for 9 Months, before deciding to give him a chance (as in, to be my b’friend at the time). After 5 months, he told me his parents have passed on when he was 7 (Mum) and 21 (Dad). Amongst other things, he added that his visa had expired and was living in the country (UK) illegally. That was very touching and in the end, managed to get him back in Ghana to come and join me here as a husband on a Spousal Visa September 2011. That same Month, we had our 1st child. There were so many challenges but I fought through…

    After three months of giving birth to our daughter, I found out that he was dating a Ugandan Woman three years before and while with me. I got a chance to speak to her and she said, she was aware of his immigration situation but didn’t want to do it until he could marry her with his own money! Now, after so many challenges, this guy has left me and my daughter to be with this other woman. This other woman has insisted on being with him, although there’s a lot at stake (a family home being broken, stealing the pride and joy of every child)

    I’m very sad and broken.

    At the moment, he has one more year till he’s given his Indefinite stay to remain in the UK and now wondering if I should phone the Homeoffice to report him as he’s also trying to use our daughter (to whom he goes months without seeing)to stay in the country as our marriage is failing. He’ll be given his Indefinite if he’s able to prove that the marriage has been successful. So now, he’s reported himself to Child Support to pay money towards our daughter; not out of care, but to have evidence to support his move to get his indefinite upon using our dauther to ask for access to family visa!

    DO I LEAVE THIS FIGHT FOR GOD, OR???

    IT IS REALLY DIFFICULT FOR ME.

    Please advise! I seek the most Godly advise…

  10. Akosua,

    I’m pleased that our materials have been encouraging to you in your walk with the Lord. At the same time, I’m deeply saddened by your husband’s deceitfulness. He’s used you only to get what he wants, indefinite status in UK. He has broken any marriage vows by his on-going 3-year relationship with the other woman. The most loving thing you can do for your daughter is to protect her from this deceitful man who has no real interest in loving her or you. The most loving thing you can do for your husband is to respect him by holding him accountable for his actions. In the situation you described, you really need to consider reporting all the details of your situation to the authorities so that they have accurate information to make a good decision and hold him accountable for his deception. Most likely, that will result in his deportation and that will protect both you and your daughter from anymore harm that he could possible do to you. I’m saddened. I know you hoped and desired better from him and for you and your daughter. Take care of yourself and continue to trust in the God who always sees us, never forsakes us and deeply loves us.

  11. Thank you, Tim. God bless you

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