Get ready for inconvenience

Jeff Olson —  June 23, 2011 — 2 Comments

Recently I caught the last part of the Christian flick Fireproof. The film is about Caleb Holt, a husband who sets out on one last ditch effort to save his troubled marriage to Catherine by implementing a 40 day test called “The Love Dare.” At first, Caleb’s heart isn’t in what he’s doing, but he eventually comes to realize how selfish he’s been and what it truly means to love his wife.

What struck me watching the film this time around was the level of inconvenience Caleb was willing to bear in order to love Catherine…Spoiler Alert in case you haven’t seen it...After learning that his wife’s mother needed some specialized home care equipment that her parents couldn’t afford, Caleb secretly covered the cost with $24,000 he had been saving up for a new fishing boat.

$24,000 can buy a very sweet fishing boat. Believe me, I’ve looked.

Caleb’s bighearted gesture reminded me of a universal truth:

If you want to be considerate of your spouse…get ready to be inconvenienced.

Up for loving your spouse…get ready to have your schedule interrupted and your plans changed. Are you up for taking an interest in what’s important to him/her…get ready to do something that you wouldn’t choose to do yourself, but you willingly choose to do it because it’s valuable to him/her.

As a husband and Christian counselor, one of the best pieces of marital advice I’ve run across continues to come back something Jesus said. When asked what was the most important commandment, He said to love God with everything in you and to love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:37-38). No. Jesus may have not had a marital relationship in mind when he spoke these words, but if there is one relationship where His words apply…it is marriage. Whether a couple is married twenty plus years and in the throes of marital discord or just coming off their honeymoon, this is some of the best advice for both husband and wife (not just one) to take to heart and put into practice.

Loving others as we love ourselves can be inconvenient, but it has the power to produce deep intimacy and rescue even the most troubled marriage.


Jeff Olson

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eff is a licensed professional counselor in the State of Michigan and has worked for Our Daily Bread Ministries as a counselor and a writer since 1992. He has authored a number of Discovery Series booklets ( on such topics as addictions, grief, depression and marital abuse. He also maintains a part-time private counseling practice in the West Michigan area. Jeff and his wife, Diane, have been married since 1986 and have raised two lovely daughters. He is an avid outdoors man who also enjoys sports, music, boardgames, books, and movies.

2 responses to Get ready for inconvenience

  1. This sounds good and believe me I trust God wholeheartedly.I’m in a marriage that I did not ask or get God’s permission about! Now I feel like my children and I are suffering. Yes I have seen God move in my husband a little bit but oh how we have gone through especially my son. Nobody ever taught my husband how to be a father so his son when he was younger and my son now are feeling the brunt end of it all. I want to run for the hills. I had a job of almost 12years and have lost it. That was about 2yrs ago and have been looking every since. I feel like God has not allowed me to find a job that can support myself and my children because He knows I will bolt! I love God with all my heart! When will the deliverance come in some form or fashion?

  2. Cassandra, I have been in your me! I was married to a man for 16 years that was mean, selfish, and angry. My three boys suffered along with me. I got on my knees and prayed but really prayed wholeheartedly in August 2009. I felt a peace come over me and in January 2010 my husband died in an accident. I had that weight and pressure removed and I was blessed for sticking out “til death do us part.” Keep praying and the Lord will answer, He promises that!

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